progoth.com

hey except not really.

I feel sick…..I left some cheeseburgers sitting around for about….um….9 hours. then I ate them. actually I did feel sick, but I saw that as a perfect opportunity for pepto….mmmmmmmmm. we were talking about that today, I finally found another person who actually enjoys the stuff. thomas is so indie it hurts.

so I went to the Bible study tonight. actually I didn’t. but yeah. I did. well john kept me like 45 minutes late because we were having an issue that needed to be taken care of, unfortunately we couldn’t. which was just as well, really, cause I showed up at brian’s at 6:45 or 7 or so, and it was just brian and ANNA (I actually remembered her name when I woke up this morning) and martha, jason’s girlfriend. and nobody else decided to show up, so we didn’t do it. we hung out until about 11:30 though, I actually really like these people. I feel like a huge dork though….prolly because I am, but they’re nice to me anyway. of course everybody but me has an s/o, but it really doesn’t bother me that much.

last night coming home I came about a foot away from hitting an opossum. that was alive. on the side of the road.

tonight coming home I noticed trees are blooming already. our weather is weird.

ok I need to get in bed. I don’t know why I post this stuff, nobody really cares what I do with my evenings.

hmm I thought that my complexion would go back to its pre-stress not-too-badness when I got unstressed….it’s not happening yet, I’m starting to get irritated and worried and annoyed. oh well.

brian works at hot topic at town center, it’s funny I never saw him there. anyway, whatever, I’m tired. and I want to read tonight since I left my books in the car yesterday.

so it’s good to be back home.

actually, hmm, it’s not really all that great. just means I gotta get up early and go to work.

but I had an awesome weekend. left work around 2:15, took me about 2 hours to get to athens cause somebody felt like they had to have a wreck on 85. so I was going too slow to enjoy spaghetti junction.

got there and talked with holly for a bit then with emily for a bit. then we went out to eat at outback. we had to wait over an hour, which was funny, except not really, because emily had called ahead and they said they wouldn’t take reservations cause there was no wait.

emily went to study, me and holly went and played pool and foosball. holly tore me up pretty bad the first game of pool, she was about to tear me up again but couldn’t get the 8 ball. so I finally got my last 3, and then sunk the 8 ball like it was nothing. it was so funny cause I was like so nonchalant about it. and I’m awful at pool. foosball we played 4 games and she won the last 3. then we played again and I won and we quit.

saturday I got up when other people did and maybe had pop-tarts and then read more of across 5 aprils then took a nap. about noon holly drove me around downtown, and then she went to work. I sat around, finished my book, played with the computer, and finally took a shower and headed out around 4. wandered around lost, bought a used book, and a new cd sold as used for $8 cause it was cracked. got back to holly’s and read lord of the flies for a bit and then we went downtown, ate at the grill, and hung out downtown. got back fairly late, I was beat. holly talked to her boyfriend for a while and I chatted with allison. she’s one of jessie’s dalton friends, she’s pretty cool.

sunday woke up at 11. sat around and talked and ate pop-tarts. then I got ready real quick and holly and I saw harry potter for $1 each at the cheap theater. which was good since the only cash I had was in quarters. it was 2 and a half hours long, and kids were driving us crazy. but yeah.

we pulled up back at their apartment and holly got out and went in. I was searching for a cd for holly to copy, when my phone rang. it was a 404 number that I didn’t know, I almost didn’t answer it. but I did, and it was a voice I didn’t know, then he asked for steven.

turns out it was jason kelly. how weird is that?? he asked me if I wanted to go to centennial park with him and his girlfriend and a friend? some friends? I don’t remember exactly. I told him I was in athens hanging out. I figured I was a charity case, because he felt sorry for me or something cause I said I didn’t really hang out with anybody. so I told him I was actually being social this weekend, expecting him to say ok, cool, bye. so instead he asked me when I was getting back to atlanta. he invited me to church and then to eat. so I went. I actually missed 316 cause I wasn’t paying attention, and then got on 75 going the wrong way. but I made it just in time to the church. actually I was plenty early, but I made it right when he said to be there.

so inside I saw brian. I don’t know his last name. some people who read this will know him, some people won’t, maybe somebody out there has dated him. oh wait, there’s no maybe about it, I do believe we shared a girlfriend; why yes, yes we did. both got dumped pretty quickly:-P ANYway I went up and asked him his name cause I knew I recognized him. I haven’t seen him though for years when he was playing a show as part of atonement. anyway I didn’t think he liked me very much.

so the church service started or whatever. there were a lot of cool people there. I’m really a big dork so I felt a bit dumb. but during a like, break in the service brian leaned back and started talking to me, so that was cool. everybody was pretty nice there to me, even though I’m pretty shy and antisocial.

afterwards we were going to los reyes, and we waited around FOREVER for jason to finish talking to somebody or something. I was following jason & martha and brian & ….abby?…. and apparently jason and martha his gf were fighting. so we got inside the restaurant and they didn’t come in cause they were discussing. but I sat with brian and his girlfriend, I guess her name was abby but I can’t remember, and anyway we talked a lot about stuff. so it was really cool, cause they were extremely nice. I got invited to a Bible study and brian & jason’s house tomorrow, so I’ll go.

after we were like, next to done eating, jason and martha finally came in and announced they were gonna go eat at waffle house or something since the restaurant was closed. brian said they’d have to wait until they were done eating since they rode with them, and I said I could take them home . so j&m left and we finished up. it took like 30 minutes for the woman to bring us our check, it was kinda funny.

so I took them home (brian lives across the street from his gf) and I got invited in, it was 10:30 or so, so I figured why not. one of brian’s roommates was playing mario 3 with one of the guys from norma jean all night, it was pretty funny. me and brian sat around and talked about stuff for a couple of hours. it was cool, he was a cool guy. his roommate and the NJ guy were cool too, all in all I had a fun time. brian lent me a 238 cd, it was pretty different than the stuff I’ve heard. but so now I finally got to hear “Chase What Makes Your Heart Flutter”. larissa mentioned it once in relation to us, as a good thing….but reading the lyrics, it’s more applicable now. I think I’ll close these pointless ramblings with those lyrics:

I filled a need in you, (I) expect a sense of truth and respect. You’ll always chase what makes your heart flutter. I’ll learn to live without your love. I’ll learn to stand and breathe alone. I’ll learn to walk on looking up. I’ll learn to live without your love. Chase what makes your heart flutter. Sorting through lies just makes me sick. I am so glad I’m through with it. Chase what makes your heart flutter.

hmmm, actually, I’m really not that bitter. at least, well, I don’t feel lied to, or sick of anything. hmm anyway whatever, I’m tired. I have to get up on time because I gotta get off work at a decent time to drive all the way over to marietta. wait, wasn’t I supposed to close with those lyrics?

crap, just got an email that says I have to get academic advisement before I can register, but the times are only while I’m at work. typical. blah. anyway, I hope nobody read this, because it bores even me.

man driving home was so scary. there was next to no visibility….at one point my car would not go above 55 it was raining so hard….I was driving and noticing this and all of a sudden I saw my rpms shoot up, and realized I was hydroplaning sideways.

so I was at a-one tonight, and had to wait for like an hour and a half for jason. he asked how larissa and I were doing, so we talked a bit about that. then after the other guy left we talked quite a bit more, about all sorts of stuff. the good life, the circus (he went the day after I), relationships… the thing that sticks out the most was something like…. you prolly just gotta be patient. if you believe in God…which I know you do….you know He has a plan. I mean, some people he’s picked to be single…but that was like….people like the Apostle Paul. He knows your needs, and He’ll work them out.

I just sat there for a second, and thought about it. I’m definitely the kind of person who needs a close companion. not all the time, don’t get me wrong. but despite my doubts that I’ll ever find “that special girl”, I know my life won’t be complete without somebody to share it with. and I’m not too different from most other people in that regard. but I need to stop worrying about it and let God handle things for once…something I’m not good at. but of all the people I’ve talked to…of all the people that could have given me useful insight….it’s so odd that it came from jason kelly. so yeah, I just need to stop worrying about things, it’s doing terrible things to my already bad skin:) I still think larissa is amazing, but I think I’m gonna stop worrying about having her back so much now. not only out of choice, but because my mind has been laid to rest. God will make happen what’s supposed to happen, and me worrying won’t change anything. so I’ll keep on talking to and hanging out with new friends, hopefully keep talking to and hanging out with old friends (and flames:) ), and let things unfold.

granted, I’m still gonna get sad sometimes, but I have a peace of mind I’ve not felt in many weeks. and that’s a good thing.