man driving home was so scary. there was next to no visibility….at one point my car would not go above 55 it was raining so hard….I was driving and noticing this and all of a sudden I saw my rpms shoot up, and realized I was hydroplaning sideways.
so I was at a-one tonight, and had to wait for like an hour and a half for jason. he asked how larissa and I were doing, so we talked a bit about that. then after the other guy left we talked quite a bit more, about all sorts of stuff. the good life, the circus (he went the day after I), relationships… the thing that sticks out the most was something like…. you prolly just gotta be patient. if you believe in God…which I know you do….you know He has a plan. I mean, some people he’s picked to be single…but that was like….people like the Apostle Paul. He knows your needs, and He’ll work them out.
I just sat there for a second, and thought about it. I’m definitely the kind of person who needs a close companion. not all the time, don’t get me wrong. but despite my doubts that I’ll ever find “that special girl”, I know my life won’t be complete without somebody to share it with. and I’m not too different from most other people in that regard. but I need to stop worrying about it and let God handle things for once…something I’m not good at. but of all the people I’ve talked to…of all the people that could have given me useful insight….it’s so odd that it came from jason kelly. so yeah, I just need to stop worrying about things, it’s doing terrible things to my already bad skin:) I still think larissa is amazing, but I think I’m gonna stop worrying about having her back so much now. not only out of choice, but because my mind has been laid to rest. God will make happen what’s supposed to happen, and me worrying won’t change anything. so I’ll keep on talking to and hanging out with new friends, hopefully keep talking to and hanging out with old friends (and flames:) ), and let things unfold.
granted, I’m still gonna get sad sometimes, but I have a peace of mind I’ve not felt in many weeks. and that’s a good thing.
